Our Anniversary

Today would have been our 5 year anniversary, I had no idea when we talked about forever together that it would only mean 4 earthly years.

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We never had an opportunity to go to dinner on our anniversary that I remember, every year on that date you were serving at elementary camp pouring eternal truth into 5th grade boys. I always would pack you a bunch of love notes, scriptures, and prayers to read since you didn’t usually have phone service so we could talk.On the one year camp was cancelled, we couldn’t go out because something with our three babies came up. I was looking forward to my favorite thing, time alone with you.

We never were able to go on that big trip we talked about doing, just the two of us. We were saving up for it with my extra money from singing  and it never happened. Oh, how I wish I had the pictures and memories of you all to myself for a whole week.

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We only had 6 months in our marriage where my body wasn’t growing a baby or nourishing a baby. You gladly shared me, encouraged me,  and served me throughout the transitions!

We never got to go on a walk as a family of five. Peyton was asking to go on a family walk the other day and I just couldn’t do it by myself. It still just hurts so badly that we were never able to do that. We usually do that in the fall, and you were with Jesus before we had an opportunity to do that with our newly added baby. I miss that time with you.

We never had that “easy season of life” we always dreamed would someday arrive. Through stressful jobs, crazy long hours, three hard pregnancies, and three babies that didn’t sleep good we were living  in Crazyville USA. We dreamed of the day when life would slow down and get in a rhythm.

We never got that precious girl with your gorgeous blue eyes and my curly blonde hair. Our sweet Layla Noel. I never got to see you interact with your baby girl, and see your heart melt and see you pretend to have tea parties with her. We talked about it often and dreamed of it,  I will always wonder what that would have been like.

We never got to renew our vows when were were old, rock on the front porch and talk about our grandkids, and talk about the “good ole days of diapers and messes.”

We never got to see our boys face light up when they told us they found the One to marry, the girl we have prayed for before they were even born. We never got to watch them become tall godly men like their daddy.

We never got to see our boys come to faith in our Lord Jesus Christ as we had prayed for a thousand times. You planted many seeds,  baby, and I am doing my best to water them even through tears.

We never were able to start doing all that marriage mentoring we had dreamed about doing when we were the “older couple.” We had so many ideas of ways to encourage, support,  and invest in marriages which in turn invest in family. We wanted to give back where we were so generously blessed.

I never got to see you lose all your hair like we always teased about. I used to tell you all the time what a super hot old man you were going to be. You always teased that you would be a cranky old man and I would reply that I wouldn’t let you.

But we did have…………..

Trials after trials that tested our faith and made us stronger. Our marriage was deeper and more intimate than anything I could imagine because it wasn’t easy. We fell to our knees together, we wept together and God gave us strength and grace to walk through each hardship we faced.

You served me and loved me. You held my hair while I threw up with all day sickness in my  pregnancies and would say, “thank you for doing this for our family, you are so beautiful to me”.

You whispered,  “You can do this” during labor and were my greatest encourager. Even if I did say “brush your teeth,  I can smell that Krystals burger.” haha

You held me and our babies and prayed over us and committed each life to the Lord. And each time you did, I fell more in love with you. In fact, when most people think they loved the deepest was their wedding day, that was the day I loved you the least in our marriage. It grew deeper each and every day, and through each moment where we had to CHOSE each other and the Lord.  

You struggled, I struggled, we struggled together. We found victory in surrender and learned that life wasn’t about the destination but honoring the Lord in the journey.

Every year we did marriage “tune ups” whether it was counseling or marriage mentorship, it was valuable and nourishing for us. We made this a priority. This year I miss that, I miss you, and miss working on that together. I am just so glad that we were given the gift of marriage in the first place.

We learned more about the Lord and each other through dying to ourselves. You once told me that God told you that “a dead man has no expectations” and God was telling you to die to yourself and expectations. It was SO challenging for me to hear that. I will never forget that amazing word you spoke to me through tears. Thank you for for challenging me to die to myself and live for the Lord.

One day I told you my biggest annoyance in marriage was the way you snooze your alarm every day waking the whole house over and over and you said for you, it was the way I loaded the dishwasher. You called yourself the quality control manager in our house, our dishwasher misses that and I miss it too.

After 4 years  of marriage, I would gaze at you and think, “I can’t believe God gave him to me!!!”One occasion, an older lady came up to us after a party and commented that she had never seen a couple look more affectionately at each other in the midst of hustling kids around. That was a gift I cherish, I am so glad she took the time to share that. I am so glad our love was obvious.

You were proud of me, you loved me, and always said you couldn’t believe you got me. I felt the same way about you. A perfect match. A love story written by God. I remember several times people commenting to us wanting to have 6 kids and I would say, “when your husband is that good looking and amazing, you want as many minis as you can of that.”

One day right before you went to be with the Lord you came home from a bad day at work and told me that you always loved coming home to us. You said you felt valued, loved, respected and needed here. I will never forget that. I am so glad you knew how valued and cherished you were.

Our marriage was FAR from easy, it wasn’t perfect. There were times that life was busy and intentionality and communication didn’t happen. And there was grace. Lots of grace for the crazy season we lived. Thank you for being faithful to us throughout.

We were looking and waiting for relief from the stress and exhaustion. You are living that, and I am jealous. I long for the day that ALL things will be made new and restored. Where my heart will be whole and my longing fulfilled.

We never wanted to be famous, we just wanted to be found faithful. I know when you arrived in heaven God told you “well done my good and faithful servant.” You were faithful in the little and faithful in the much.

You fulfilled your vows in every way and for that I am grateful!

I, Patrick, commit to a lifelong Covenant with you, Brittany, for the purpose of serving Christ together. Through life’s joys and trials, present and future, I promise to faithfully love, lead and protect you, as Christ does his church, until God takes me Home.

I, Brittany, commit to a lifelong Covenant with you, Patrick. I promise my faithfulness to you through life’s pleasures and its pressures, now and in the future; that our marriage may be an act of worship to Jesus until God takes me Home.

We commit to the sacred covenant of marriage as defined in God’s Word for His glory.

 

You were my first hand hold, my first kiss, my first love, and God blew me away with how He answered prayers through the form of you. I will choose to always be thankful for you and not complain about the time I didn’t have with you. The season, although short, was one I will cherish and rejoice in always. Thank you for being mine, if only for a short time……I will love you deeply for life!

I will do my best to do you good not evil ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE! (Proverbs 31:12)

Until Eternity joins us again, I will cherish the memory of you, baby!

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Comments 28

  1. Thank you for sharing, Patrick left a legacy of leading others to Christ, but you are building yours now through your faith, grief, and tears you are sharing. Showing How Christ is still number one in your heart, and how holding onto His promises is getting you through each day. You are a Godly woman and Patrick is smiling on you, seeing how you have bloomed into a woman of faith so strong. You may not have ever wanted to be famous, but you have both become famous Because of your faithfulness….and that is the kind of famous you can embrace! We love you all!

  2. Thank you for sharing your story! You have been such an encouragement to me and I thank God for you. Praying for you during this difficult time.

  3. You are an amazing young lady who honors our Lord. This is a hard time but your faithfulness gives honor and glory to the only one who deserves it. Thank you for your testimony, your encouragement to all of us who have lost our husbands. Every day is a challenge but your faith holds firm, what an encourager you are!! God bless

  4. Thankful for you, Brittany! Thankful that you can recall with joy and thankfulness your short years with Patrick. Praying for your heart as you carry on – missing him and and his tender care and love for you and the boys. Thank you for sharing your heart and life with us, including how the Lord is helping you in this new season of life. Thank you for seeing it from His perspective. Praying that you’ll know His joy and peace each day as you make it your aim to please Him. (2Cor 5:9). Love and prayers.

  5. My husband and I have been married for 7 years and we have four little ones ages 6, 4, 2, and 10 months. We have been in a perpetual season of stress and exhaustion our entire marriage as well. But your posts encourage me to thank the Lord for each day and cultivate our love since we are not promised tomorrow. Thank you for using your great loss to minister to others! You are remembered in prayer often. May the Lord be your husband more and more each day and bless you spiritually in a way that far surpasses everything you’ve lost. One day you will see your faith rewarded. Much love.

    1. Anna thank you for your encouragement! So proud of you for choosing joy in the midst of craziness! I know it’s hard and I’m proud of you! What a precious family you have been given Blessings to you! And so very thankful for your prayers!

  6. What a beautiful example of the covenant of marriage. Such a blessing to know this does indeed exist. How faithful you and your husband were and are! A beautiful love story. Beautifully written and thank you for sharing. Blessings of strength and comfort over you now and the days ahead.♡

  7. Brittany, you are such a precious woman who loves the LORD with all your heart.
    Thanks for being an incredible witness for HIM.
    Praying for you.

  8. Hello, I know there is a kindred spirit here, Brittany. I wrote previously that my husband, Ray, passed away from cancer about a week before Patrick did in October. And now I learn that you two would have celebrated your wedding anniversary around this same time in July. Ray and I would, also, have celebrated our 16th anniversary on July 15th. Our paths, while so very different, are still so very similar. This past 8 and a half months since God called Ray Home has been full of bewilderness and fears, but this phase has given me time to realize that I can not ride into the Heavenly Kingdom God has prepared for me, on Ray’s coat tail. When I go before Christ, and have to answer to every good thing and every not-so-good thing, it will be me, alone, facing my Maker. I have to demonstrate my own personal journey through Life, with Christ as my navigator, not Ray. Ray has indeed been a companion with me on this journey, but the choices I made were mine, and mine alone. Brittany, thank you for showing me that while Ray and I may have been”joined at the hips” on our earthly journey, it will be only me being welcomed or denied at God’s Heavenly Gates. As one individual, not as a couple, you have clearly shown me that my actions and words will have come from me, and were not based on actions or words exhibited through my spouse. I can not walk in my husband’s shadow and claim to have done so many Christian things and expect to be led into Heaven via Ray’s actions and words. It’s time for me to make my own mark in this world, whether it be good or not-so-good. I will choose “good”. Thank you, dear little sister in Christ,

    Susan

  9. Thank you for sharing your heart. I was reading this and thinking of the plans my husband of 4 years and I have. Vacations, house projects, baby names if God blesses us with babies….. he wanted to go for a walk out front our house. At first, I wanted to finish reading this, then the tough came: what if this was our last moment? Would I regret making his wishes wait? I put down my phone and enjoyed a walk with my husband.
    Thank you for opening my eyes
    Prayers of peace as you navigate the grief and raise your boys….

  10. Brittany thank you for your beautiful post! On 10 July it would’ve been our sixth wedding anniversary if my dear Jeff was still alive. He died suddenly five years ago from cancer, this year in particular is extremely hard, as I have been diagnosed with full body complex regional pain syndrome and I’m struggling to walk from one room of the house to another and am in excruciating pain daily. I do hope and pray that the Lord will heal me, and if you chooses not to May I have many opportunities to bring honour and glory to his name on a regular basis as he sees fit. I pray we have many gospel opportunities, so the world can see that when we suffer whether it be emotionally or physically we have a great hope. Our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ. God bless you and your precious family.

    1. Nancy I am so sorry for the hurt and pain you have and are walking through. I’m so grateful that you know the Hope of glory-Jesus and are clinging to Him through it. I know the Lord is using you for His glory! Proud of you for choosing joy and purpose in the midst of pain! Blessings to you!!!

  11. what a wonderful testimony! What an amazing example of a godly marriage. Prayers for you as you go through this difficult season. I truly admire your strength. P.S. You should post some videos of your singing 🙂

  12. Hi Brittany, my name is Loni and a friend of yours told me of your blog. My husband went to be with our Father on May 7, 2016 due to an automobile accident that was not his fault. We have a 5 year old girl Evelyn “Evie” who looks just like her daddy Skyler and a 20 month old blonde curly headed boy Baron “Bear Bear.” I haven’t read through all of your posts but thank you for sharing your story. Everyday is hard without my love here but I do find peace and comfort through God’s presence. God bless you and your family. We will be with our husbands again one day. ❤️

  13. Loni, Oh girl I am SO SORRY for the pain you are walking through. My heart aches for you. Are you in the atlanta area? would love to connect with you. We have an amazing young widows group that is lead by some older ladies who were widowed many years ago with young kids like us. Its been a great encouragement. Shoot me an email and I will connect you its mrsbrittanyprice@gmail.com Know you are not alone. The Lord sees and cares! Can’t wait for eternity with our sweet husbands! Thank you for taking the time to reach out. You are a blessing!

  14. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I too am a widow and became one last October at the age of 30. A friend of mine sent me a link to this blog post saying that she read this and it was like it was written about Bob and I and sadly, it’s true. We were both Catholic and used to help out with our youth group, Bob was a police officer here in St. Louis, MO. We have two beautiful boys, now 3 and 5 and we never got to have our 2 girls (Lillian & Cecelia) that we prayed we would. Bob was diagnosed with Cancer in January 2015 and fought a hard battle until October 27, 2015. We celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary on October 9th and he passed just 18 days later. We never got to go on our trip to Ireland that we planned to take for so many years but always said we’d get there one day after we’re done having babies and they’re a little older. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

  15. Alicia, I am SO sorry you are walking this hard journey! Crazy how similar our stories are! Are you on social media at all? Would love to keep up with your sweet family, it helps remind me to pray for y’all! We are blessed ladies to be so loved by such incredible men. Blessings to your precious family! Thank you for taking the time to write me 🙂

    1. It is crazy, that’s what I thought when my friend sent it to me. I am on social media. Facebook is just Alicia Hayden (my profile pic is of my husband and I) and my cover photo is of the 4 of us. I just tried searching you but apparently there are a lot of Brittany Price’s. I am friends with a few other young widows on facebook also. It really helps to see I’m not the only one going through this.

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