Perfecting Motherhood

Perfectly manicured hands, pre-baby body back and feeling good as I finish up my hour-long workout before my baby wakes up.  I’m so glad that my husband and I have trained our baby to sleep through the night so I can have time to work out, take a shower, and do my hair and makeup all before the baby wakes up. With a clean house, laundry done, stocked fridge with all organic and healthy food, and meal prep done for the new recipe I’m trying off of Pinterest, I have time to play with my baby. While he takes his nap I have time to sit down for a cup of coffee, have my quiet time, catch up on blogs, and read some of my book. After a three-hour nap he happily wakes up and then contentedly plays with toys while I put dinner in the oven. My husband walks in at 5:00pm (like he does every day) and pulls out flowers from behind his back and says “So glad to be home, babe, you’re looking so beautiful today! Dinner smells great!” and picks up our baby and plays with him. Then it’s bath and bed time and finally time to spend with my husband before we go to an early bedtime so we will be refreshed in the morning.

This is a perfect life, or at least our mental image of a perfect life. THIS HOWEVER IS NOT MY REALITY. Our life could look this way on the outside but in our hearts we could be self righteous, sinful, prideful and judgmental.  The Lord is teaching me that A PERFECT LIFE DOES NOT MEAN A PERFECT HEART. It’s in my weakness that He can perfect HIS mighty strength in me.

Through the sleepless nights, no-nap days, blow-out diapers, spit up on my clothes, messy house, simple meals, husband working late, empty fridge, hungry teething baby, and sweatpants the LORD IS PERFECTING MY HEART. He has been patiently teaching me that it doesn’t matter what my life looks like on the outside if my heart is not yielded to the sanctification of sweet Jesus. In the days of crying out to the Lord for strength, fighting constantly against flesh, and choosing joy, these are the days that Christ is working in me. This display of dependency on the Lord is more fruitful then having my life together and having no need for my Savior. The 4am prayer/nursing  sessions, responding with kindness to a screaming and teething child, confessing the sin of self pity, not comparing my life to my friend’s perfect Facebook status, worshiping through washing the toilets, looking at my body as a tool the Lord has blessed to bring about a baby and not as a stretch-marked milk producer, stopping to pray for patience and control of my tongue; these are moments in my imperfect life that the Lord is perfecting  HIS grace and humility in my heart. I have learned more than I have ever imagined through this journey and it’s just the beginning. I am so grateful that God is daily cleaning out the selfishness in my heart and ridding me of my pride through His daily work of sanctification. THIS IS MY PERFECT LIFE IN CHRIST!