My greatest struggle in Motherhood

The sun is rising on a beautiful morning.  Feeling refreshed after a long night of sleep, I have my hot coffee in one hand and my beautiful journal and Bible in the other; it’s just me and God, no noise, no distractions.

These are the mornings and moments that I long for, that every part of me deeply desires. In my season of life right now they aren’t realistic, yet I still dream about it happening again. Any other mothers out there feel the same way? The problem is, I can idolize this so much and think I can only spend time with God this way, that I miss Him in my everyday and more realistic moments. Today I tried many times to sit down and read my Bible, but something was ALWAYS interrupting me or distracting me.  As I sat down to nurse my child tonight I was praying about it and was thinking, “well, I guess there goes my time with God; it’s either all or nothing,” when He gently whispered to me that each moment can be time with Him. I had made an idol of my time so much that I wasn’t using the few free moments I did have to commune with Him. As a mom, this has been my greatest struggle. Trying to figure out what it looks like to be a follower of Jesus while being a mom and juggling all my affections has been difficult. My time looks different, my energy looks different, my emotions and affections can be maxed and my days hurried, but that doesn’t mean I can’t know Him and trust Him more. The Lord is graciously teaching me to diligently seek Him not just in devotion time (if that set apart time even happens in this season I call Survivalville), but in moments He gives me throughout the day. Whether it’s a moment while emptying the dishwasher, or hanging up diapers to dry, or rocking my baby to sleep, or looking at my blessed family, I can call out to Him and seek Him with all I have in that moment. He doesn’t care if it’s an hour in the Word or a moment of utter dependence on Him, He just desires me to diligently seek Him with all I have, and right now all I have are those moments. I believe God is teaching me what “praying without ceasing” means. There have been many times during this newborn and exhausted stage that I just call out to God and ask Him to bring to mind a passage I have studied before and give me fresh revelation from it. His Word does not return void and even when I can’t sit down to study my Bible for a long time, the Lord can still convict and encourage my heart through His Word that has been sown in my heart. May we seek Him today throughout each moment. Let’s not waste the time He has given us and the breath He has given us to bring Him praise.