God wrote the great story of your life before you ever took your first breath into this world. He knew you would be born into a family with a loving parents who were crazy about each other and you. He knew that your daddy would only be part of your life for a short time but would be part of your heart forever. God called you to suffering at a young age, long before most kids even hear the word death you had to face the everyday reality of it. When most kids were crying about going to sleep you were crying yourself to sleep wanting your daddy to hold you. You were faced with eternity and what living life to the fullest truly means.
At your young age God called you to a life of purpose in pain, a continually journey of being set apart in a bad way in this world but a chosen way in eternity. You may not remember the way your daddy smelled or the sound of his laugh but you will always know you were loved, valued and chosen by him. Your daddy and I’s biggest prayer for you was that you would love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and serve Him no matter what you walked through. God is using suffering to draw your heart to Him, although it’s so painful for my mommy’s heart I am so grateful for the drawing God is doing in you. God is answering our prayer even through death.
Every night I kiss you and reassure you that God has a special plan for your life and it is good, I know God isn’t done writing your story. God is not going to waste this pain, this calling and your title of fatherless. You are one of the most blessed children in the world because not only did you have an incredible earthly daddy but you have a Heavenly Father who loves you even greater way. You are special in God’s eyes. When you ask why you can’t be in heaven with daddy, I reply “He isn’t finished with you yet, God has a mission for you on earth and when it’s His timing we will be there.” You may be little but your calling is great my son. I hurt from the depths of my heart for you and I hope from the same place. Jesus is working all things out for good, not for comfort, not to remove pain but for our good. May the great pain of this world cause you to cling to the great reward of heaven. May this death cause you to truly live life to the fullest. May the pain of the present show you that Jesus is all we need. God loves you and so does your mommy!