Monday September 28th, a day like many days in our family, filled with the craziness of having three boys under the age of three, work and home life , and trying to do it unto the Lord. As God would have it, the computers at Patricks work went down, causing him to come home early from work, which in turn bumped his meeting with the young man he disciples to be that afternoon so he could spend that evening with us. While with this young man they were discussing the end times, and he kind of sat back and as he was crossing his arms he said “Hey, if God wants to take me, I’m ready.”
Patrick came home from discipling and did the usual bath time routine with the boys, putting them to bed and having “talk time with daddy,” and praying over them. Several hours later He went into check on them, and our oldest happened to be awake, Patrick whispered to him “daddy loves you so much Peyton” and he replied holding his hands outstretched as wide as he could “I love you this much daddy.” Patrick and I had a sweet time together talking about marriage, eternity and walking with Christ. We talked about death and the assurance of salvation. He held me and told me how much he loved me, was attracted to me and thought I was beautiful. Then we prayed together and went to sleep. We were awakened several times by our toddler dealing with fear throughout the night, so Patrick decided to go into work early since he was awake anyways. I told him how handsome he looked in his suit that morning and he kissed me good bye and told me how much he loved me, to have a good day and Ill see you tonight.
The boys and I headed out to bible study, where we were talking about Revelation. I had just finished sharing about how studying this gives me eternal eyes and strength to trust God no matter what I face, having no idea that I was about to walk through the greatest trial of my life. Moments later my phone rang. I ignored the call the first time from the unknown number and then the spirit prompted me to answer the second time it rang and that it was about my Patrick. I stepped outside the door and was told Patrick was sick, had fallen, was at the hospital and they were sending a law enforcement vehicle to pick me up (my husband was a certified peace officer for the state of Georgia.) I ran back in and interrupted the discussion and told them what happened, my group gathered around me and prayed over me. I ran down to figure out who would be able to take my children so I could go to the hospital. Just an hour earlier I had texted Patrick and told him how proud he would be of the boys that just walked into their class so good that day, little did I know that he was already in the presence of the Lord for about hour at that point.
Childcare figured out, I stood in the rain with my mother in law who was pacing and waiting with me for the vehicle to arrive. I waited for an hour and half, Bible study came and went and I was still waiting. BUT God was so sovereign in that, during that time everyone else found out my husband had died and they were all praying for me. Now thinking back on it I wonder what that view of us waiting in the rain looked like with spiritual eyes. We were surrounded by the presence of angels and the Lord, and the Spirit of God was hovering over me bringing scripture to mind, and raining down His peace that passes all understanding. As we drove there I couldn’t get a song out of my mind about the peace of God, and I was just praying for the Lord’s will to be done and thanking God for the amazing night He had given us. The Lord was near, it was as if I could hear Him say, “Remember all of this, every detail’.
When the car stopped in front of the hospital I ran as fast as I could in the rain and puddles and was going to see my man. I ran in and someone escorted me past security, they had been waiting for me.I ran into a hall way with a bunch of law enforcement and the rest of Patrick’s family who had been there for hours at this point. When I saw everyones eyes I knew. It wasn’t a hospital room it was a hallway. There was no body, just people with shock written all over their faces. They sat me down and told me, he was gone. My healthy 30 year old husband who I loved more than life was gone to be in the presence of Jesus. His heart went out of rhythm and he died. I whispered “He gives and takes away, blessed be His name, He is good.” Then I began to sing under my breath (this video gives more of these details.) Minutes later God prompted me to talk to everyone that was there about eternity and about Jesus. My heart was racing, it was uncomfortable, but God was going to get me through, and if there is anything Patrick would have wanted was for people to know this life is temporary and Jesus is all that matters. At the hospital I asked one of our mentors if they would preach the gospel at the funeral and that we are praying God uses this to draw many people to Himself. After that we saw his body but for a moment. It didn’t look like the happy, funny, handsome, spirit filled man who I was one with. It was a shell. The Spirit in us really does make you who you are. We stayed a little while longer, but there was nothing else to do but grieve. They handed me a bag of his belongings, his badge, watch, wallet and precious wedding ring, and then I walked out as a widow.
We arrived back at my brothers house, where my children were, and I had to nurse my 3 month old baby who hadn’t taken a bottle, along with responding to a phone call regarding Patrick’s body as he was an organ donor. People were going to get his heart, 2 people were going to get the gift of sight, and 20 people new skin. Is this real? Are we really talking about my husband this way? Hard reality, I mean I felt like I just heard he was dead, and now we are talking about his body parts. This was hard. But also a blessing to see how his death was going to effect people physically so they could have new life. Little did I know this was just the beginning of what God was going to do to bring life in the midst of my husbands death.
I had to tell my boys what happened.“God is your daddy now.” Peyton was to turn three the next day, and said all the time how his daddy was his hero. He was best buddies with his daddy as all of us were. His world and his brothers world was changed forever. Oh how I thanked the Lord that my are so young. “Oh God use this pain for Your glory”I kept praying, because it is SO hard. Is this real life? I kept thinking that. But God was supernaturally upholding us.
That afternoon as family and friends from all of the United States came in to come be with us, and as prayers were being lifted up all throughout the world, all I could think of is I have no guilt and no regrets. Nothing I would have done differently, nothing I would have said differently. God had given us the best way to go into eternity, living each moment with intentionality. Stories upon stories flooded our social media accounts of what an eternal impact Patrick had on this world. Things I had never heard, things that would have been a secret unless something like this happened, because Patrick was the most humble man. WOW! Tears filled my eyes as people told me how much he meant to them.What an amazing man, God used him to make such a mark for His name in the 30 short years he lived. We were only just seeing the beginning of how this was shaking the world.
That night my boys kept asking where daddy was and my 21 month old wouldn’t go to sleep because he was crying for daddy. At this point in his life, he had never even said mommy because we are all about daddy in our home. As I rocked him I cried over the thought that my precious boys no longer have an earthly daddy, our world would never be the same. I sang through the tears “because He lives I can face tomorrow, because He lives all fear is gone, because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living just because He lives.” Oh the only hope we have is Jesus, the only way we could stand was because of Jesus. We were going to make it, but oh the sorrow.
That day my best friend, husband, father of my boys, funniest person I know, partner in life, lover died and with him died all the dreams we had, dreams of my future, and my heart that was one with him died too. But oh how the Lord used death to bring about such life. We have only just begun to see the Lord’s work in using His story for His glory. Hundreds have come to know Jesus as the only way, have gone from being luke warm to burning hot for Christ. God is using this to make His name known. Oh how He is using this gut wrenching, unbearable pain for His glory. And our prayer continues to be “use us.”
As it rained and poured for weeks to come, the heavens were weeping with us. But through rain I am reminded growth comes. God is growing His kingdom and that makes is all worth it. For His glory we stand.
Wow Brittany, thanks so much for sharing your story. You and your family will continue to be prayed for always. Please know that you’re right, becasue of what happened, you and Patrick are drawing so many people to The Lord because of your faith, you inspire me every day to know Him more. I have not a doubt that you and your boys are going to be more than just fine!!! Have a good day sweet girl! ❤️
Thank you so much Julie for your sweet encouragement and most of all for the treasure your prayers are!
This is good. Powerful! We love you so much. You are a light Ina dark storm. I know this will encourage so many!
Thank you so much. Thank you for the way you have walked alongside of us & held up my arms during this. You are a huge blessing to us! Love y’all!
Beautiful post about the grace of God in y’all’s life. I continue to pray for you and the boys and all of Patrick’s family.
So grateful for your prayers! Thank you so much!
May God continue to give you peace and encouragement throughout the Christmas season. Your faith in God through this trial inspires me to keep walking the walk of faith in my own trials by putting earthly fear aside. May God’s name continue to be lifted up… all for His Glory.
Thank you so much Lindsey!
Thank you for sharing these beautiful words. I can feel the depth of your pain, but I can also feel how you trust God to hold you close and carry you through these times. Please know you remain in my prayers, and I would love to be able to help in any way I can.
(Nathan’s teacher at BSF ❤️)
Thank you so much. And thank you for the way you love on our family! We appreciate you!
I don’t know you Brittany…but I just wanted to say that your testimony is such a light to others and a great encouragement to me personally. Your faith is so evident and IS being used to encourage others and to uplift and magnify the Gospel. My family continues to pray for you during this Christmas season, remembering the Lord’s grace and kindness to His children, and ever more earnestly looking forward to His coming! Thank you for sharing your most precious memories with us.
Thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers Tiffany! You are a blessing!
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This is such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing with us. You are an inspiration. Praying for your family.
Tracy, thank you for your encouragement & prayers!
A friend sent me your post – 12/13/14 is the day my world turned upside down – on 12-12 my hubby and I went shopping for Christmas gifts, we got home had pizza and watched some T.V. with our three children, then 12, 10 and 8. Later, as he was surfing the net trying to find my mom a microwave for her Christmas gift, I kissed him and said good night. It was the one night I actually slept through the night, no getting up to go for the twice nightly bathroom run. My son woke up while I was in the bathroom about 6 or 7 (it’s all a blur) and said he wanted a drink, I told him dad was up and to go down. Next thing I knew, he was running back up saying, daddy’s asleep in his chair and he’s had an accident”. My heart dropped – I had enough medical training to know – and I ran down stairs. I began shaking him, yelling his name and by this time my son had woken my girls who were like mom what’s going on? It still hadn’t sunk in until I touched his bare arm. I knew. I called 911 they asked if I wanted to begin CPR and I said no, it’s too late. It was decided he passed about 3a.m. I wanted an autopsy but none was none – he was 44, we were days away from celebrating 14 years of marriage (1-1-01) not to mention Christmas and New Years. It’s been a year. Two weeks ago today I also lost my 32 year baby brother, unexpectedly and suddenly. There are still days I wait for him to call me from work, to hear his car coming down the street, then I remember……I remember the day our world changed forever. I blog at Growing for Christ.
Oh Sarah! How my heart aches for you! I’m so sorry for the pain you are going through. Just prayed for you and your family! Keep clinging to Jesus, He is our only hope!
With tears in my eyes, I thank you for pouring out your heart, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable so that others might see the sovereignty of God in your life. God is good, and he has been constantly reminding me that through your story!
Thank you for your sweet encouragement! Love you sweet girl!
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound…
Was blind but now I see…
And grace will lead me home…
Brittany, thank u for sharing your heart and soul. Our Farmer family prays for you and the boys daily. We loved Patrick so much and miss him too.
So thankful for your prayers and the way you love on our family during this time. He loved your family and we are all blessed to know each of you.
Britney, I believe because of your strength and your strong faith in our God you were chosen like Mary to do something that will change the world around us . I do know what you mean about not having regrets or left anything unsaid as I became a widow six years ago. I pray for you and your boys often as I feel as if I know you through Tim and Rachel and Cecily and Robbie. Love and prayers from Michele A.k.a. Shell Shell in Florida.
Thank you for your encouragement! I’m so sorry you have walked this hard road. Our family loves and appreciates you!
Thank you for sharing your story. Our stories are so similar. My healthy 32 year old husband went to be with the Lord 11 days after our 11th anniversary this past May. It was an unexpected heart attack, leaving me a 34 year old widow with 4 girls, 10, (now) 8 year old twins and our baby turned 3 on Sunday. So many things you mentioned in this article sounded like you were talking about me. God has been and will continue to be glorified through our pain, and the peace that surpasses all understanding has been amazing! I will be praying for you and your boys, especially during the holidays and through all of the “firsts” Romans 8:18 ❤
I’m so glad you contacted me. I’m so sorry for the pain you are walking through. I know this is so hard, hurting with you. Grateful for your encouragement! The Lord is going to get us through, so grateful for Jesus as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Blessings to you sweet sister in Christ!
You are such a huge source of encouragement. I am a member of FBCW and have been praying for you and your boys every time the Lord brings you to mind. You truly are challenging me in So many areas. Thank you for being so bold!!
Stephanie thank you so much for your encouragement and most of all for your faithful prayers! You are a blessing to our family.
Brittany, what a beautiful glimpse into this incredibly painful and glorious season of your life, thank you so much for sharing so authentically with us! My heart literally hurts as I pray for you and the boys, but at the same time I am deeply grateful for how Patrick’s life and faith, and yours, have had such an impact on mine. Please keep writing, God has clearly given you a gift to articulate His love through your journey. And remember, you dear to my soul sweet friend.
Thank you so much for your encouragement & faithful prayers!!So grateful for you!
Blessed be God, thank you Brittany Price for your strength this season….its amazing! May God Almighty continue to reveal himself to you now and forever. May your kids be engraced to see God as their ABBA father as they grow in Him in Jesus mighty name, Amen .
You are Blessed.
Love and celebrate you.
Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement!
I cried through that, God in his infinite mercies will continue to fill in the gap for you and your precious boys. It is well with you.
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Brittany you are a very special woman, your story has really touched my life forever. I admire your faith and strength, God is so faithful. I thank God for the life of your dear husband and rejoice because he is in heaven with Jesus. The Lord will be with you and your boys every single day, every step of the way and He will meet you at the point of your need. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with the world, your incredible I wish I could give you a hug! Praying for you.
Love Ronke from London xx
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this and encourage us. So grateful for your prayers as we walk through this hard but Jesus filled journey! You are a blessing!
Thank you for sharing your story. My heart breaks for you and your boys and I just cried through this post. So often I forget to be thankful for every minute with my precious family, and allow little irritations to rub me the wrong way. I just prayed for you and for God’s peace and comfort to be always present.
Thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers. Blessings to you and your family Stephanie.
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Hi there Brittany. Thank you so much from sharing your story. I came across your instagram page on suggestions of who to follow. Your journey has just encouraged me to live each moment with my family with intentionality; particularly in sharing the gospel and encouraging them to grow in relationship with Our Saviour, King Jesus.
I pray that God continues to heal your family; and that you will see more rainbows on days which are overwhelming with grief. I imagine that you may feel sad that your boys will not experience some parts of their father, be reminded that Our God is a Father to the fatherless. He is your perfect husband too 🙂
Just remember that weeping may endure for a night but joy comes.in morning.
Your story blessed me all the way in South Africa.
Thank you so much for taking the time to encourage me and for your prayers! What a blessing you are!
I came across your story several months ago and when I 1st saw your youtube video I thought this cannot be real the way this lady is ever so calmly speaking about the recent death of her husband. As I read your posts on instagram I continue to be in awe of your strength and all that you are instilling in your children during this time. I long to be the patient mother that speaks life and The Lord into My Children but with a 3 year old and 5 month old I many days fall short. I long to be a wife who does not take for granted the one God kept for me until it was time yet many many days my love is sadly conditonal. I long to be the Christian and woman of God who consistently remains in the Word and the Word in me yet again I fall shortm As I sit here tonight for the 1st time time reading this blog, I am in tears and just want to say God bless you. Truly we are loving in the last days and God is calling us to be real and do more for HIM and it’s just so amazing to see God continue to get the glory no matter your circumstances. To God be the Glory! Thank you for being so transparent during this terribly hard season in your life. As a god gets the Glory and more men draw near to Him through your story I just pray that HE continues to give you a peace that surpasses all understanding… even on the toughest days I pray God comforts you in knowing that this season your experiencing is truly an eternal God thing and until we get to heaven I pray He will give you the peace patience and strength you need to make it on this side! You’re an awesome woman of God!
Katrina, thank you so much for taking the time to write this and for your faithful prayers and encouragement! So grateful for you! You are doing a great work in raising your babies. Even on the hard days where you feel like no one sees what you do, the Lords sees you and what eternal significance is in your job as a wife and a mother. Blessings to you and your precious family!
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I was just introduced to your blog tonight. My husband of 14 years died on January 13, 2016 after a 13 month battle with cancer. He was 39 years old and we met when he was 21. I too have three children ages 11, 8, and 4. I am so happy reading your encouraging words and witnessing your testimony to God. God is who helped me though the cancer struggle and death of my husband. Without Him, I don’t think that I could function on a daily basis. Today was a very difficult day for me…and here you are! God, as always, is right on time! I look forward to following you! God bless you and your precious boys!
Heather, girl I am so glad you wrote me. My heart is breaking and hurting with you. This journey is one so difficult and full of pain. I am so sorry that we have this in common but SO grateful we have the Lord and His HOPE in common. Just want you to know that I just lifted you and your sweet family up in prayer! You are doing a great work, Mama! Blessings to you and looking forward to connecting more.
Brittany, I dont know you but saw a picture a friend liked on here and found your story. I am a fellow Christian and death is so scary to me. Especially with two little boys and a husband. With death hitting my family as I grow older the more ive learned to cling to his promises. Your storu has touched me in so many ways. I was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor in December, and while it is not life threaterning the thoughts that it could have been hit me every day. Stories like yours and many other touch me. Help me realize that death is temporary. We one day be with Jesus and our loved ones again. No more suffering or tears. He holds tomorrow and is always with us. Thank you so much for sharing. You and your sweet boys are in our prayers!
Brooke, thank you so much for taking the time to write me and for your precious prayers! What an amazing gift they are! So grateful for your encouragement! God has a special play for your life and for your fAmily, keep seeking King Jesus!
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I just read your story on TrueLoveDates website (and I left a message there for you), so I went here to visit your website and to leave you some encouragement.
I cried so much reading your story… And I’m so touched when I see how brave you are and that you can still praise the Lord and be faithful. What a great encouragement!!!
I just prayed for you my dear sister in Christ (I was half weeping but I managed to pray)… and I prayed that the Lord gives you full consolation, that He takes care of you and of your kids… And, you know, He takes good care of the widows and of the orphans. The Bible is full of promises for you.
I live in France. I thought it could be some encouragement for you to know that your story reached an other part of the world! And really, it is such an encouragement for me. I just realised how much I was superficial, demanding and how much I forget to thank the Lord for what He does for me… I realised how much I forget to give fully my life to Jesus everydays… Your story reminded me that.
I wish I could give you some consolation, hold you in my arms like a friend would do (I’m 23)… I will keep praying for you.
It’s amazing to see that God is actually with us even in the deepest pain… even in the incomprehensible… May He stays with you all the time.
“Sing to God, sing in praise of his name,
extol him who rides on the clouds;
rejoice before him—his name is the Lord.
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.” Psalm 68
Esther you are SO SO precious! Thank you for taking the time to write me and encourage me with those sweet words, and precious truths from God’s Word! You are such a blessing and encouraged my heart so much! Thank you for your prayers, that is the greatest treasure! Thank you girl!
Hey! Thank you for answering! My fiancé sent me some verses this morning, I thought of you and I thought you may be encouraged by them
[God] stills the roaring of the seas,
The roaring of their waves,
And the tumult of the peoples. Psalm 65 v 7
Don’t be afraid. God takes care of you dear sister in Christ.
Have a sweet day!!
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I know I’m a total stranger to you, but I want you to know how much I admire your strength and faith in the The Lord. As I read about you rocking and singing with one of your children that night, I couldn’t help but picture that moment and shed a tear. I can only begin to imagine what you were feeling. I’ve read many of your posts and each of them touch my heart in a different way. You give me hope and a sense that we can always push through the hardest of times. My thoughts are prayers are with you and your boys.
Autumn! You are so precious! Thank you so much for taking the time to encourage me! You are such a blessing! So grateful for your prayers!
Oh my goodness, I can’t even begin to explain how moved I am by this post. My face is covered with tears and I’m only knowing of you now. (I stumbled upon your photo on Instagram and then went to your bio and found myself on your website)…
My comment may be a little late but I have to say how much I’m so encouraged and deeply moved by the amount of faith you had (and continue having) in the Lord and more especially during your trying moments, He most definitely has been and will continue being you and your boys’ caregiver, source of strength and joy.
God bless you and your family Brittany!
Mulenga, you are so sweet! Thank you so much for taking the time to encourage us, what a blessing you are! We are grateful!
Blessings to you girl!
Dear Brittany, I was just reading your story in the upcoming issue of BD | RW magazine (I am the assistant editor) and was so touched that I wanted to read more of your story. I looked you up and found this post. I am reading your story with tears streaming down my face. I am rejoicing with you as a fellow believer that this *isn’t* the end, but am also praying for you and your boys at this moment as you move forward through life clinging to Jesus. Have you ever heard of a devotion called Streams in the Desert? It has been so, so very precious to me during life’s tough moments. My mom passed in 2013 just a few weeks before I had my first baby girl (who we named after her), and it was a devotion she pulled strength and peace from daily during her seven year long sickness and that I found so much comfort in after her passing. I would love to share a copy with you and drop it by to you or pop it in the mail if you would like.
Susan, you are so so precious! Thank you for taking the time to encourage me. I LOVE that book and read it daily, what a tremendous blessing and encouragement it has been in my life as we walk through the shadow of death. Thank you so much for sharing that my husband had a copy and I never read it until he went to be with the Lord. What a treasure it’s been. I am so sorry to hear about your sweet mom but so thankful for the hope of eternity! Thank you for taking the time to reach out, what a sweet blessing!
Thank you for your story. It transported me back to our own families loss and your testimony was a wonderful encouragement to trust in the sovereignty of God, an especially hard thing to do with children involved. God be with you all.
Thank you Jayme. I am so sorry that your family has walked through loss but so grateful you know sweet Jesus! Blessings to you!
I came across your Instagram randomly and led me to your blog because I saw that your husband died on September 29th. I am familiar with that date and know the sensitivity as it is approaching here in just a few days because last year on September 29, 2015 we lost our 2nd son (he was born stillborn). Grief is so hard but God is so faithful to walk with us through every stage and it is so amazing how He uses the comfort that He gives so we can comfort others! Thank you for sharing your story! I’m so happy that I ran across your blog- I know our losses are very different but the same God is comforting us both and He is so good! I will be praying for you especially on September 29th as we also celebrate our baby’s first birthday in heaven!
I am so so sorry to hear about the great hurt and loss you are walking through. My heart aches for you. One of my dearest friends lost her baby the same way 2 days after you and I’ve been walking this gut wrenching journey with her. Oh how precious eternity is going to be! So thankful for the Hope of Jesus and I am SO thankful you know Him! I’m trusting the Lord to continue to uphold us with His righteous right hand as we walk through this next hard week. Thank you for writing me. Blessings to your precious family!
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